sicknick

04.28.01 - 7:25 p.m.
only in dreams

the past two nights i've dreamed of mark. i don't understand why. liking this guy is no good! what to do, what to do?

thursday night: i was at a bar waiting for my friend clint to show up. instead, mark walks in and sits down with me and we proceed to talk. he leans over and gives me a sweet kiss on the back of my neck. i could feel the shivers run down my spine, and so i told him so. he asked if i wanted him to do it again. at this point my roommate woke me up to inform me of a wasp infestation in the kitchen window. ugh.

this morning: i'm out of town with april and stacy. we are worried about catching our flight home. we find ourselves in a van heading down a beautiful snowy street. suddenly we are in some sort of airport, heading toward the elevator. mark is there. we begin to hug...nice nice hugs, if you know what i mean. he looks down at me and says "is this really true?" then the phone wakes me up. ugh again.

now i can't get the guy out of my head.

anyway, i live above a bunch of jocks. now, don't get me wrong...i appreciate the fact that i can play loud music and have people over and things like that, but these guys take it to extremes. they yell and wrestle and do silly jock things. oh, and the nasty girls that hang out down there...sheesh. bad news. man, i hope they move out before football season begins. go pack...not.

when am i going to feel like i'm doing something with my life? 25 years old. yikes. school may be just around the corner for me, but i'm even having some misgivings about that. i want to go, but i think i'm just scared. yeah, scared. that must be it.

stacy just called and she's going to kick my ass if i'm not ready to out when planned. a shower is in order.

lazy day.

'cause i, don't know why but i'm willed to die possessed to be i killed you in me and i'm to blame i killed the flame persist to try i'm living a lie, living a lie, living...my passions deceived' snapcase

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