04.28.01 - 4:54 a.m.
oh god, it's so late...er...early, i guess. up all night. that's nothing new. it was a slow night at the bar so i'm not at all tired. in fact, i've been on this crazy computer since 3 when i got home from work. i've decided to do this diary thing instead of the blogger. sorry blog, just not interested anymore.
confusion. my brain is going to explode i think. there's this certain boy that i like...what else could make a girl's brain explode? we have such a long history as 'acquaintances' though, and there's also that little fact that he dated an old roommate/friend of mine for several years. ok, so kel and i don't hang out anymore, but we're still on good terms. it's girl thing. there's just this unwritten rule of friendship...you don't go out with friends' exes. ugh. but he gave me his fucking phone number! i never called him like a big dumbass though. tom petty was right on when he said that the waiting is the hardest part. i've been waiting forever.
geez, after my last boyfriend i'm pretty scared to do anything. jon was a real class act. oh well. he's someone else's problem now (and whoever he's screwing around on her with) and that's all that matters. the only feeling i have left for that guy is pity. it's such a shame that he has to treat people in the manner in which he does. one day you're the best thing that ever happened to him and the next he's found 5 girls to take your place. he's selfish and unworthy of anyone's caring. too bad he's out on the road right now probably fucking some 17 year old groupie...yup, having sex with any girl who'll give you the time of day really makes you feel better about yourself, huh? blah.
anyway, i dig mark...i have for quite awhile. i guess i'll just have to give this one a little time. besides, he is just really a cool guy to be friends with, although my attraction toward him may throw a wrench in the plan.
i'm tired. if i were drunk i'd probably have more to write about right now.
what to do saturday night...hmmmm...i wish there was a show or something. stacy and i are sure to find some kind of trouble to get into though. that's been the trend.
unfortunately there's another smaller crush i have. this one is bad news. it's a guy i've known since high school. another jon. phooey. i've known him for so long, but suddenly he just seems very appealing to me. maybe it's just the fact that i've been single for so long. ugh.
well, whatever. i just want to have fun right now. you're only young once. i've still got a lot of living to do.
the sky is getting lighter and the eyelids heavier.
'you make me feel like a rockstar-i know sometimes i make you cry-sometimes i understand why' gameface
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