john called me all day. i had so much cleaning (and distracting) to do, so i decided not to be bothered.

eva and i went out for her birthday tonight. we had awesome italian food and ended up at hihat, landmark, and foundation. good times.

john called while i was out too...knowing full well what my plans were for the evening. he told me to call him when i got home.

so i did.

he was much more rational and even apologized for being such a dickhead saturday AND last night.

i told him i wasn't going to put up with it anymore and obviously the way that we act toward each other is a reaction to what the other is doing...so we BOTH need to chill the fuck out if we're ever going to get any where with this.

ugh. i'm just so fucking tired of all this. i have absolutely no desire to be with anyone else, but he is completely driving me nuts. what to do?

on a brighter note, my house is becoming cleaner and cleaner every day. this makes me feel productive. productive is good.

the new bed gets delivered thursday so much rearranging and throwing out of crap was a necessity.

it's about time i did something with this place.

now i just have to work on myself.