06.16.04 - 3:13 a.m.
toys-r-us kids

someday i'll be a grown up.

you know, i'll get one of those "real" jobs that everyone keeps talking about...with insurance and 401k and all that crap.

maybe i'll buy a house.

i'll be responsible.

and maybe make my mom a grandma.

there will be a lawnmower in the *gasp* garage and a washer and dryer in the basement or "utility room" if that's the case.

everything in the house will coordinate, and there will certainly be no more pack-ratting or clutter.

for i will be too busy and concerned being a grown up to allow for that to happen.

hmmm...

why does getting older suck so much? why do you have to stop liking certain things? why do you have to stop DOING certain things?

who made these "rules" anyway?

no one is the boss of me so don't tell me what i SHOULD or SHOULDN'T be doing at the age of 28.

but why does it make me so angry? i may actually want some of those things someday, but i'll do it when i want to.

so i keep a strange schedule...i'm awake when most people are sleeping and sleeping when most people are awake. big deal.

i own "stuff". i have no debt. i make decent money.

but i feel lazy and stupid.

maybe i should read more...or actually get motivated to go to college.

but why does a person's "success" have anything to do with a college education or size of their home or what kind of car they drive or where they go on vacation or even where they get their fucking hair done?

jebus. why am i wasting my time on this anyway?

dammit, i need a new car.

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