06.26.04 - 4:50 a.m.
contributing to the delinquency of a minor

when i was about 4 or 5 years old was the first time i drank beer...

it was past my bedtime, but i couldn't sleep. so i got up and went out to the living room where my mom was watching tv and drinking a pabst (my father had already left us by then).

my incessant talking bugged the shit out of her, so she thought that giving me a little bit of beer might make me sleepy and shut me up...

she was oh so wrong.

my mom got a cup for me (one of those old, tall tupperware cups circa 1979...it was pink) and poured some beer about an inch or two high. i drank it right up.

i proceeded to talk her ear off, for what probably seemed like hours to her, until FINALLY i fell asleep.

to this day i still have a problem falling asleep...and alcohol never seems to help.

only now i don't have anyone to bother with my worthless blabber.

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