02.21.04 - 7:34 p.m.
somebody kill me

so what have i done today? hmmmm...let's, see. i woke up, ate some noodles, took a shower, and sat in front of this damn computer ALL DAY. hours and hours of staring at this monitor has given me a tremendous headache. ugh. yet i am still here.

most of the day was spent searching adoption registries for my older sister whom i've never met. she was born two years before me. my mom was pregnant when she met my wonderful father told her he wouldn't marry her if she kept the baby because he didn't want to raise someone else's kid. well, apparently he didn't want to raise his own either. but that's not the issue here. anyway, i don't have much info on her, so the search is difficult. i'm not even sure if it's the right thing to do anyway. i feel like i'm being selfish...i want a sister. i love my two brothers, but knowing that i have another sibling out there drives me crazy. but what if she doesn't know she's adopted? what if my mom gets upset? what if we don't like each other? what if she doesn't want to be found? ugh.

so then i decided to research cars. i want a new one. well, a new used one. my car is 12 years old...over 8 of those years have been with me. there are very few things that have stuck around with me for that long. i bought that car when i was's taken me on road trips, dates, to's seen me through blizzards, fights, first's put up with being vandalized, broken into, heavily stickered. good god nicki! it's just a freakin' car!

but i still want a new one.

and i've come to the conclusion that listening to dashboard confessional can be highly detrimental to one's sanity if you're having issues with your significant other. and on top of it all i'm premenstrual.

i'm thinking too much.

i guess i'll just have to get drunk tonight.

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