04.13.04 - 3:01 p.m.
so john left for good last night...AGAIN. and he was drunk...AGAIN.
i tried explaining to him that leaving me every other day doesn't exactly make me feel loved or wanted or appreciated. i mean, how am i supposed to show him how i feel about him when there's this constant threat of "i'm going to leave" hanging in the air?
he told me how mean and rude and indifferent i am toward him all the time.
and i know that i can be.
but SO CAN HE.
i guess it's ok for him to be that way...after all, he's obviously had the upper hand in this thing all along.
"i'm leaving you" and that's that.
so he left at about 2:30 in the morning. then he called around 3 saying that he needed to pick up something from my house. he shows up and makes me go back upstairs to get it, and then tries to 'talk' on my doorstep.
no thank you. shut door in face.
he then proceeded to call and call and call...ultimately leaving 8 voicemails.
"oh, that's real mature. turn your phone off on me."
well, it's more mature than playing stupid relationship games like we're in 8th grade or something...
"will you go with me?"..."you're dumped!"..."will you go with me?"..."you're dumped and i hate you!"..."will you go with me?"..."give me back my jean jacket, you're dumped!"
i can't take this anymore.
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