09.02.04 - 2:59 p.m.

so, i do believe i may have a tiny, innocent crush on someone. it's strange. i haven't had any kind of, well, ANYTHING for anyone in such a long time. and deep down i know it's because of the shit that's going on between john and me...we still haven't spoken, and i'm not sure if i want to any time soon.

to break up or not to break up? that is indeed the question.

he'll probably end up pulling some lame stunt like calling me on my birthday or something..."aren't we hanging out?" grrrrr...

looks like my mom and my bros are taking me out for dinner, but then the rest of the evening is up in the air.

i had weird dreams last night. my friend paul who's been dead for YEARS was there...i seem to dream about him every now and then. in this one he and i were talking about how he can see and hear everything i do...i think it stems from a conversation i had with my friend kim somewhat recently. kim and paul used to date, and we talked about all that "back in the day" kind of stuff. we had pondered whether paul knew we were talking about him...2 girls he dated one right after the other. funny.

grrrr...i have to go pick up a package at the ghetto-ass post office by my house. why can't they just deliver the shit?

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